


Heart's Day

by CartoonJessie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Kiss, Force Bond (Star Wars), Reylo Zine, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 23:13:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14223897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CartoonJessie/pseuds/CartoonJessie
Summary: On Takodana, a young Jedi can't help but think of the First Order's new leader. It's been a month since she let Ben Solo go, but Rey still misses him. She reaches out through the Force to reconnect with him, hoping that perhaps he can still turn and be with her. [Written for the awesome first edition of the Reylo-Zine - beta-read by guibass]





	Heart's Day

It had been a month of relative peace and quiet for Rey – after killing Snoke – leaving Ben behind – one month after Luke’s death and the death of so many other fighters for the Resistance.

But not all hope was lost. The Resistance was growing stronger again.

As it was declared that Rose had now made a full recovery, she was possibly the most cheerful person in their base on Takodana – not too far from where Maz’s castle had once stood. Hidden in the forest, it remained undetected by the few pilots that still came near. Though the ruins of the old watering hole were near, it would never be rebuilt again – if only because Maz was now aiding the Resistance and had no time for bar keeping anymore.

Rey was standing watch outside, looking at the sky for any sign of intruders, secretly enjoying the breeze and the warmth provided by the sun, and the sound of the rustling of leaves above her. She could feel the Force all around her – but with it came an absence too – him.

While she had remained open to the Force, it appeared he had closed himself off or ignored the bond – perhaps his new duties as the Supreme Leader had left him exhausted and drained. Maybe now he had no time to seek her out or to abate his loneliness. Perhaps he didn’t want to anymore. She couldn’t blame him. After all, she had denied him a future together – and when she was alone it was often her greatest regret.

She knew the link between them wasn’t dead. She hoped that it explained the loneliness and loss and regret that she often felt at night – hoped that it wasn’t just her own, but his as well.

Whatever regret she felt, she had to mask her expression at the sound of approaching footsteps, friendly – from what the Force was telling her. As she turned and saw it was Rose, she smiled warmly.

A radiant smile was returned to her, and as Rose came to a full stop in front of Rey, she went into her pocket and took out a small metal plate, no bigger than a few inches, offering it to Rey. As Rey took it, she realized it was heart-shaped, and she had a slightly confused expression on her face as she took it from her newest friend.

“I made these while I was recovering,” she explained. “When I was a kid, me and my sister would celebrate Heart’s Day every year on Hays Minor. We had a rough childhood, but Heart’s Day was when you gave all the people you cared about a heart. We made it out of anything we could find – paper, clay, fabric, or sometimes by carving heart shapes into rocks or pieces of wood or anything we could get our hands on. It always cheered me up, the giving and receiving. I figured we could all use a little pick-me-up after the past month. It hasn’t been easy.”

Rey could only agree. “It hasn’t. Thank you,” she said gratefully, cherishing the gift in her hand.

Rose noticed how the Jedi was very quiet, contemplating the gift she had received. “Your mind seems a galaxy away.”

Rey smiled at her new friend. “I suppose it is.”

Rose was perceptive – and she knew that the young Jedi wasn’t telling the whole story – that there were things unsaid about her time apart from the Resistance. She often seemed distracted and sad – and the way Rey cherished the little metal heart between her fingertips now made Rose suspect that perhaps this sadness had love as the cause.

But Rey didn’t want to talk about it. No matter how warmly she thought of Rose, opening up to people was never easy, and this was a conversation she didn’t want to have with her or anyone else. She knew that she needed to get away before she would get grilled during her watch.

“Would you mind taking over my shift? It’s only an hour before I’m relieved. There’s something I need to do.”

Rose eagerly accepted the responsibility – especially after sitting in sickbay for most of the month – and Rey walked away from the base, all the while playing with the smooth metal heart between her fingertips. Her feet led her further away, until hours had passed, and she found herself in a spot that wasn’t unknown to her.

Rey recognized the stony gorge where she had first met Kylo – where she had tried to shoot him, and he had dodged each of her shots with the greatest ease. Her heart felt heavy at the thought, and she realized that if she could get a second chance with him – a second past, to undo all the wrongs that had been done – she would take it. And that was a terrifying thought, for she knew he had chosen the First Order over her.

But even then, she still cared for him. Perhaps, not for Kylo, but for Ben. It was hard to believe that he had truly closed himself off from the Force. Maybe she had simply not tried hard enough to reach him? After a month of complete silence, she could not stand the thought of not hearing from him any longer.

On Jakku, silence had been her constant companion, and she had never minded its presence. But after her first taste at being together – his silence and absence hurt more than anything.

As she wrapped her fingers around the metal heart, she tried her hardest to focus on him, closing her eyes as she asked the Force – both gently and not so gently – to show him to her – to speak to him – to mend her heartache with his – and for once, it obeyed.

She knew when the world grew quiet and still around her, that he was present now.

Opening her eyes, she saw him stand in the gorge, his back turned to her as he moved his head, picking up on her, and she was slightly surprised that his clothes hadn’t changed at all, even if he was something akin to an emperor now.

He turned around, his mouth slightly open, and he seemed genuinely surprised to see her there. Her outfit was no different from the last time he had seen her, and once again she looked a little lost as she stood there – that same expression on her face as before their argument in Snoke’s old throne room. She seemed confused and hurt.

He licked his lips, blinking a few times as he tried to figure out if any words would be welcome or not, but she beat him to it.

“Hello, Ben…” Though she tried to sound brave, she knew her voice had broken as she had uttered his name.

“Rey…” he replied softly, looking hesitant, as though he wanted to step closer but wasn’t sure if he could. If she would let him.

She didn’t wait for him. Her legs trembled slightly as she moved, coming to a full stop in front of him. He was close enough to touch – close enough to embrace and sob into – but she tried to be strong instead. Not sure where to begin, her mind was a million places at once, unable to focus while a barrage of questions floated through her mind. But one thing did sing clear through the chaos: “I miss you.”

She pursed her lips together as she tried to keep a straight face, willing her tears away. But she saw how he had that slight twitch in his eye again and how his lip trembled like it always did when his emotions got the better of him.

When he suddenly moved, she saw that he was pulling off his glove again, but this time when his hand was bare, he only moved it to her cheek, the back of his hand gently caressing her skin, and now she could not hold back her tears anymore.

As they fell freely, she felt so much regret for being apart from him, for leaving him in his darkest moment. She thought she had left Kylo Ren behind, but she was beginning to realize that she had abandoned Ben Solo as well.

Watching her tears with sad eyes, he saw his own fear of separation in her, and the regret they shared. Too often had he felt alone and abandoned – and though he had thought for a while that she had chosen to leave him behind forever – her eyes now showed him how she regretted that. He could not help the hopeful tone in his voice as he softly offered: “You’re still welcome by my side, Rey.”

She could hardly see him through her tears and took an unsteady breath as she shook her head.

“And you’re still welcome by mine, Ben.”

Feeling in the Force that she wasn’t ready to come to him just yet, he bit his lip, urging back some tears. He turned his palm to cup her cheek now, and watched how she leaned into him, full of trust and affection, and though he wasn’t sure what he was doing, he leaned forward, to rest his forehead against hers. The Force all around them made them feel like they were truly together – even if it was only an illusion.

Rey could only feel miserable, and she could not help voicing it in a soft tone, looking down in defeat.

“Must one of us truly change for us to be together?”

He shook his head, lifting her chin so she’d have to look at him. “I think it’s just the universe that needs to change,” he said.

The certainty in his gaze strangely enough gave her the courage she needed.

“I’ll change it for you,” he added bravely, and Rey once more felt her knees grow a little weak. She was already out of breath from just looking at his intense eyes, his passion hard to ignore when it surrounded her in the Force, and she wished she knew what he meant – or how he was going to go about this change. But his determination echoed through the Force itself, making her believe for the first time in a long while that it could be done – that balance could be achieved.

She wanted to believe him, more than anything. She still wanted to give him her heart, like she had nearly offered it to him in that elevator before they had faced Snoke together. Having nothing physical to offer him as they were still a universe apart, she instead put her hand on his cheek as well and pressed her lips to his, taking him completely by surprise as he inhaled sharply before their lips touched.

Though he would sooner align himself to the dark side of the Force than she would, her passion in that moment exceeded his. He stood there and accepted her kisses – silently swooning against her lips, his own curling up into a shy smile.

Even if they weren’t physically together, they didn’t think it was any different from an actual kiss. Not that either of them had experience with kisses like these – but it was like they were really together, and when their kiss broke, they could still taste the other. It was hard to imagine that a real kiss could be even better than this.

They were both very quiet as they looked at each other, spotting no regret or sadness in their gazes for once, but only affection and hope and love.

And then Rey was suddenly alone again, like a rope had snapped from pressure, sudden and quick.

She shuddered as she felt the ghosts of his arms still wrapped around her, and she missed the feeling of his chest underneath her fingertips. The universe had become a little heavier again, but as she opened herself to the Force, she felt something she hadn’t felt as strongly in a while.

_Hope._

She would see him again. Smiling, she reached into her pocket and touched the metal heart, knowing that her own was already his, and his was already hers – and best of all: now she knew that he knew it too.

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction was a part of the Reylo-Zine. If you wish to see the full Zine, you can find it here: https://reylo-zine.tumblr.com/post/170949016823/thereylozine-all-links-for-view-download-of   
> Feel free to drop a comment, it always warms my heart! <3


End file.
